Remembering Oma

/ 28 April 2011

In March and April 2011 I wrote some memories of March and April 2010, the weeks I spent with Oma as she died at home. I’ve gathered these together here.

  • Remembering: One Year Ago (9 March 2011) One year ago today I got a call from Dr. Djavan, my grandmother’s doctor in Vienna. Oma was very ill, she had been in the hospital already for a few weeks and I was planning a to visit. In fact, Nathaniel and I would be leaving later that day...
  • Remembering: Rudolfinerhaus (13 March 2011) Nathaniel and I arrived at the Vienna airport on Thursday March 11th and met my brother Stephen there. I like taking public transit in Vienna, so we all took the City Airport Train together...
  • Remembering: Aiming for Home (15 March 2011) This was a week of struggling to get Oma strong enough to go home, while also preparing the way for her to be there. March 13th: I think Noelle was essentially correct in saying that there was “no significant improvement” yesterday...
  • Remembering: Oma Comes Home (20 March 2011) Time dilates when the stresses pile on. Anyone who has tended a loved one in the ICU or lived through the aftermath of an accident experiences this rush of events that can hardly seem, in retrospect, to fit the time they were given on a calendar...
  • Remembering: Leaving Oma Behind (26 March 2011) The same week Oma returned to Huschkagasse I had to return to the US with Nathaniel. Before we left, though, we got to spend a couple days with Oma at home. Anna came home from Rudolfinerhaus with Oma, which turned out to be a huge blessing...
  • Remembering: New Technology (28 March 2011) Once I landed in the States again, my incentive grew for making sure that those of us over here could communicate with her in Austria. Stephen had helped Dagmar install a Skype phone, now I really needed to use it...
  • Remembering: Apart (29 March 2011) I was apart from Oma for the two weeks at the end of March and beginning of April 2010. Dagmar was with her, arranging for the shifts of nursing care. On March 29 I wrote: I spoke with Dagmar this morning...
  • Remembering: Return (11 April 2011) Alex joined me on my return to Vienna a year ago today. We were coming back to care for Oma, sick at home, so Dagmar could return to the US to attend to matters at home for a while...
  • Remembering: The Last Newspaper (14 April 2011) A year ago on April 13 I wrote: It is a very rainy Tuesday in Vienna and Alex and I have been here for almost a week. Some days, or really, more accurately, nights, have been horrible. Other hours have passed in quiet peacefulness and rest. The couple nights before Sunday were the worst this week...
  • Remembering: Ins and Outs (19 April 2011) One of the pleasures of these weeks with Oma was that, to the degree she ate anything, she liked eating the food I prepared for her. For years I had learned how to cook at her elbow...
  • Remembering: Lass mich in Ruhe! (21 April 2011) I remember a year ago today with pain and wonder. I was beginning to really push Oma. We now had the pieces for her recovery assembled. Her friends had visited her and encouraged her. Anna was caring for her. Her doctors were attending her and adding fluids to the mix with an infusion...
  • Remembering: The Woods (23 April 2011) When I was six I spent a year in Austria with Oma and Opa. I returned often for weeks in the summer time. I have distant memories of walking in the woods with Oma as a young boy...
  • Remembering: The Garden (26 April 2011) Stubbornly I kept trying the wheelchair. On Sunday, April 25, we made our last attempt. I took Oma into her garden for a few minutes. She just could not appreciate it. I have a video of one of our forays...
  • Remembering: The Battle (26 April 2011) While Alex and I were in Vienna, my mother, Dagmar, had gone home to the US. Still, we had WiFi and Skype at Oma’s house and so we often talked with Dagmar, usually every day...
  • Remembering: Utzi, Opa, and Trude (27 April 2011) Today was Tuesday, April 27. Oma was mostly sleeping, wearing a morphine patch, and we were not even going to try to get her to exercise or get in the wheelchair. That seemed past. Dagmar suggested I get in touch with Oma’s dear friend, Tante Trude...
  • Remembering: Apfel Suppe (28 April 2011) The morning of Wednesday, April 28, one year ago: Oma’s condition has been worsening, though growing more calm, since Monday. We are now firmly on a palliative course, with a morphine patch in place, and only pain medications being administered...
  • Remembering: The Walk (28 April 2011) Alex and I were up early and Oma was still, blessedly, sleeping. After sending an update to the family, I wanted to get out of the house, into the woods. Anna said she had everything under control and gave us leave to head out...
  • Remembering: Release (28 April 2011) I spent the whole afternoon of Wednesday, 28 April, with Oma, listening to her breath, helping her turn from side to side, watching trying to keep her weakly circulating blood from pooling on one side or the other. From time to time she would sip water set on her lip, but not much...

You may also want to check out Alex’s reflections on the time he spent in Austria with me caring for Oma. If you want to know a bit more about Oma and her life, check out the Oma pages on our family wiki. Take care! Thanks for stopping by.

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